Don't Stop
by NellietheMarvelous
Summary: Castle and Beckett uprooted from the comforts of their world and thrown into a darker side. "They have to get out of the city, out of the country would be even better but that's not exactly a possibility. They. He shouldn't even be in this. But he refused to let her go off alone. Threatened to tell someone. She had no choice..."
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: This is me NOT owning Castle.**

**A/N: Okay, I'd like to say that this is a Christmas gift for Savannah and I have about 10 chapters already written. I'll only update once every two weeks(ish) because I now work quite a bit and it's going to be rare that I have more than one day off at a time and I do have other projects going as well. I'm trying to work out an update schedule and get all my stories going again so just bear with me for a little bit. This job takes up a lot of my time. Sav also chose the title and a lot of what's in this are ideas we shared through calls and texts. So this is me giving her a writer's credit.  
**

**Set after the engagement and she's back in NYC but goes AU after that. Short little intro chapter. Enjoy.**

Panic. That's what she remembers. Absolute fear flooding through her veins, wrapping itself around her heart and squeezing so hard it ached. It still does. It's a pang in her chest as she grips the steering wheel. Lights flooding in through the windshield, brief flashes in the dark as she obeys every traffic law.

They have to get out of the city, out of the country would be even better but that's not exactly a possibility. They. He shouldn't even be in this. But he refused to let her go off alone. Threatened to tell someone. She had no choice but to bring him along and as selfish as it is, she's glad his hand is heavy and warm on her thigh, reassuring with soft strokes even though she knows this is just as terrifying for him.

"Kate,"

"Change your mind?" Her throat is tight, a lingering lump almost traps her words and they come out soft, her eyes darting to his as she waits for his reply.

"No, but...what exactly is the plan?"

"For now we need out of the city, somewhere inconspicuous enough to be safe for the night as we sort everything out and then..." She trails off, lets his mind fill in the blanks because there's no return from this. No one is going to swoop in and save the day.

They have each other and that's it. No one else and she hates that for him, hates that he's severing himself from his family because of her. Hates that they're in his sedan of mute color, blending with the traffic and taking detours of alleys, hates the way her stomach rolls at just the thought of what's happened in the last few hours.

She drained her bank account less than an hour ago, knows how that looks. And as soon as they can, she's ditching the car. That looks even worse.

Her leg is still shaking, adrenaline pumping through her blood and she feels him squeeze her thigh, feels the tremble in his hand. Something wet trails down her cheek and she hears him whisper her name but she doesn't have time. Not yet. So she swipes at her face, swallows roughly and pushes it down.

Later. Right now, they're headed south with no destination and wads of cash between them. Thousands. It could keep them afloat for a little while. He'd wanted to pull more from his accounts but she wouldn't let him. Argued with him. They had nowhere to keep it, that kind of money just asks for trouble and they're already nose deep.

"How tired are you?"

"I'm not."

"That'll wear off, we have to be smart about this. Take turns driving, we need to get several hours of highway behind us." He nods but she knows his mind is wandering. "Castle, I need you to sleep."

"I don't know if I can."

"Try, okay? Listen to the radio if you need to." She could use the distraction too but her brain is still screaming. Her mind protesting with everything it has. No distractions. Distractions will get them killed. "We're going to have to find a different car soon, I need you alert for that."

"You mean we're stealing cars now?"

"No, I mean...I – I hate this but yeah, that's a possibility or swapping plates. Both illegal." She catches his eyes, sees them soften as his hand moves from her thigh, fingers raising to brush her hair out of her face.

She hasn't even showered. Part of her knows she cleaned up as well as she could, blood soaked clothes in a bag in the backseat, but she still cringes, knows there's dried blood in the ends of her hair. And it breaks her heart that he's touching her as if everything will be okay.

Nothing about this is okay.

"I know how you feel -"

"No you don't." It's a snap in her control, her voice harsh and cold before she can stop herself. Silence settles, guilt kicks in and she shakes her head. "I wouldn't want you to."

"We just left everything we love, everything we're used to and I still don't know exactly why, so maybe you're right. Maybe I don't know what you're feeling but if it's fear, if it's disbelief because this hasn't settled in then I think we're on the same page."

"I didn't ask you to come."

"I'm not about to leave my fiancee to the wolves, Kate. I love you and even if -"

"I didn't do it, I don't remember what happened but I did not do this." The road blurs, tears filling her eyes and his fingers are back to her thigh, curling around and squeezing until she remembers to take a breath. "But evidence will say otherwise and I can't prove that I didn't if I'm locked up."

"And that's why I'm here. We're partners."

"Alexis..."

"You said we'd get a phone, that I could call and we'll figure this out. We'll get to go home." It isn't reassuring at all because she knows the odds. She's been fighting them for years.

The city she grew up in may never be home again. And that hurts. Her boys are there, her father, Lanie, Martha and Alexis. Everyone is back in New York City and she's just dragged Castle into a mess that might end with them both dead or behind bars.

"Sleep, Castle. I'll drive for a couple hours before we -"

"Steal a car? Add to our rap sheet?" It's a halfhearted attempt to lighten the mood and it falls flat but at least he's trying so she gives him a wavering smile that doesn't meet her eyes, turns to watch the road stretch out in front of them.

"Well you can always say it's just research for your next book." A book that he won't be able to publish. She curses herself for even mentioning it, can feel him deflate in the passenger seat. She's an idiot. "Sorry."

"Don't apologize. It's my choice."

"Thanks...for coming. Even if you're a complete moron for doing so." She hears him snort out a laugh. Something she hasn't heard for hours. "Partners?"

"Partners." And with that promise he closes his eyes, settles back in the seat but she can hear his foot twitching, knows he won't be able to drift off. Too much happening at once.

Neither of them are going to sleep for days. Constantly looking over shoulder, waiting for flashing lights or something worse.

She turns on the radio just for him, puts it on his favorite station but even after an hour, he's still sighing, muscles tense and his stomach growls every few minutes.

This is life now. On the run. Hungry and fearful to even stop for a bite to eat. And she can't even remember how everything became so fucked up.

She's a cop. Was a cop. But her badge is useless now, her weapon strapped to her hip and at the ready. A cop. The one thing she's good at, the hope and justice she could bring to others. The justice she never got. And it's gone. Because now she's wanted for murder – of a senator.


	2. Chapter 2

**a/n: Well here's the thing, I'm posting early because it snowed and I'm stuck at home on my day off. Plus I promised Savannah. And since she's patiently waiting for an email from me that won't send for some reason, I thought this might be appreciated. Huge thank you to everyone that read/reviewed/addedtofavorites/followed the first chapter. It means so much to me to know you're all interested to see where this goes.  
**

At some point the hours blended together, the adrenaline dissipating just enough that Beckett catches herself yawning. Three times in a row and she knows she needs to pull over, do something about their car but she hates waking him. There's no guarantee they'll be allowed much sleep over the coming days, weeks, maybe even months and it took him almost two hours just to doze off.

She glances at the illuminated numbers on the dash, sees that he's been out for almost three hours now and even if she doesn't want to, they have to stop somewhere soon. His stomach has been growling since they left New York City and hers is starting to churn. They hadn't eaten dinner yet.

She remembers that much, she can recall bits and pieces of planning to have dinner together, her needing to finish up some paperwork and him promising to break out her favorite wine to relax her. Everything starts getting a little fuzzy from the moment he left the precinct with a squeeze of her hand. A blank slate from there, as if nothing happened between signing some papers and waking up in a pool of blood that wasn't her own. A couple bullets missing from her gun and two holes in the chest of a man she's not exactly mourning.

It doesn't make any sense, the puzzle is missing key pieces and she can't remember them. It hurts her head to think about it, leaves a pain building behind her eyes and she quickly flicks on her turn signal, veering off into the parking lot of a fast food joint.

Discreet enough with the drive-thru and she doesn't have to wake the man frowning in his sleep next to her. Two burgers, two fries and two shakes later, she's parking at the back of truck stop, where the light from the lamps doesn't quite reach. There's a few cars littered about but she doesn't see much movement outside.

She could get caught doing this but then again, she could get caught at any second and this will provide them a little bit more time on their head start.

It takes her twenty minutes to talk herself into it, her survival instincts taking a bit of a back seat to her moral code as she scouts for security cameras. It's necessary and she knows that but it doesn't make it any easier to break the law. She's a cop at heart, through and through and yet she's here and thinking like a criminal. Becoming a criminal.

She rubs her palms over her thighs before she reaches out to brush her fingers over Castle's cheek. There's never a dull moment with him around but this is not what she had in mind when they'd been lying in bed, her fingers ghosting his chest and talking about getting away for a few days. This is not what she'd been thinking of at all. He's innocent in all of this, looking so much like a boy as he sleeps, his hair flopping over his forehead and her fingers brushing it out of the way.

She takes a breath to calm herself – a poor attempt – and rubs her thumb over his lips just in case this doesn't work out the way she's hoping, in case they're caught within the next few hours and she doesn't get a chance to prove she's not guilty.

Before she can talk herself out of it, she's popping the trunk and exiting the car. Mentally apologizing before she ever grips the handle of the screwdriver, her apologies becoming a mantra in her head as she quickly unscrews the license plate from the back of the car and checking to make sure no one has noticed her odd behavior at almost four o'clock in the morning.

She goes for quick when she swaps the plates with the car next to theirs. Being efficient enough in the poor lighting that they're now from the great state of Florida. Hopefully they'll be long gone before the owner of the car ever notices.

Her heart is pounding, her body nervously sweating as she sinks back into the driver's seat. The nausea rocking her stomach until her nose picks up the smell of the burgers and the scent of the deep fried potatoes that go with them.

She's high on alert, skittish enough that just the warmth of something touching her elbow has her jumping out of her skin, bringing her palm up to rest over her chest as she feels the beating stop for a few seconds before starting again with a vengeance that has the organ thudding loudly, hard against her ribs.

Soft blue eyes filled with worry and concern for her, she'd been trying not to wake him. And despite her best efforts, he's blinking at her.

"You okay?"

She almost scoffs at his inquiry but she knows he doesn't mean it like that, he's genuinely worried and just because they're in the worst situation doesn't mean she has the right to close herself off from the one man still by her side after all these years.

"For now. Bought us some more time, we're going to need to find a place to sleep but, I got us some food."

"Picnic in the car?"

"It needs to be quick but yeah, let's picnic, Castle."

It almost worked, she almost manages to completely forget why they're eating in a parking lot. Once he gets a smile and tries to steal a bite from her, not even caring they have the same food, She wants to crawl into his lap, bury herself there and never come back out.

She knows how soothing those hands can be, knows for a fact that she'd be a mess if he even so much as touches her right now. The emotion is barely contained as it is. No time to be sentimental or break down and fling herself into the solidity he could offer.

In the middle of swiping one of his fries and taking a sip of the chocolate shake she got for him, Beckett suggests driving till the sun rises in the sky and then finding place to hunker down and rest up. She's seen signs for motels and hotels but it won't be easy getting by without using their drivers licenses.

* * *

The air exhales heavily from her lungs as she drops her bag by the rickety little table. This is what she's been expecting and it still has her cringing. A sloppily made bed in the center of a small confined room with ripped carpet and peeling walls is theirs for a little while. Her choice.

The somewhat spoiled man next to her had wanted something nicer before she'd quietly reminded him they're fugitives and can't be picky. She'd still had to fork over her license to the woman renting them the room but they'd paid cash, no computers were involved and hopefully they would be gone before anyone could start any trouble.

As long as the lady doesn't keep up on news reports, then they should be able to rest here for just long enough. She catches herself staring at the bed, wondering what kind of germs that thing holds. If it wasn't for the fact that she would be exposed and entirely too vulnerable, she probably would be sleeping in the car.

But she's selfish. Wants to be reassured by the warmth of Castle's body against hers, the way he wraps himself around her when he knows something is upsetting her. That's why she's okay with stopping for a few hours and lying in a bed that has seen better days in a musty smelling room.

They've been quiet. She's used to quiet from herself but it worries her a little that he hasn't said much, that he's closing the curtains of the room, darkening it, hiding them without being told to do so and if not for the screaming of her bladder, she would ask him something. Anything. Try to ease both their minds for just a brief moment. But she has to pee and they have plenty of time to sort things out...as long as they don't get caught.

The bathroom isn't much better than the main room but it serves the purpose. She washes her hands four times, scrubs at them until they're red and stinging beneath the hot water. She hears herself sniffle, can already feel the lump that she's been fighting all night. It wins. She feels the dam burst as she catches her own gaze in the mirror.

She looks awful, her hair matted and darkened by blood at the ends, makeup smeared and black mascara rivulets slip down her cheeks with the tears leaking out. But it's the fear staring back at her that has her shaking. Hands trembling now as she fumbles to turn off the faucet, not recognizing her own reflection. The Kate Beckett staring at her isn't the same one from the evening before, planning a playful dinner with her fiance.

The door creaks open, a warmth sweeps in but she can't stop staring at who she's become in just one night. Not until Castle's face appears over her shoulder, his hands reaching to circle her waist, his eyes closing when he presses his nose into her hair. That's what finally breaks her focus, makes her whip around and collide with his chest, hard enough to have them both stumbling.

The tears come and she lets them, doesn't hide from him when he's now just as broken and just as buried in this as she is. His fingers press into her spine, pushing harder as he lets out a sigh and she doesn't tell him it hurts, doesn't care. With her face in his neck and his arms tightening around her, she can hear his heart racing. Just as fast as her own.

A tiny bathroom that barely fits both of them but like this, wrapped around each other and seeking some semblance of comfort, the room itself feels too big. Too open despite the door being shut. She fights the urge to look over her shoulder, keeps her face against him, sniffling softly against his neck and pressing her lips over his skin.

"Beckett." He says it with such affection wrapping around the syllables, the letters themselves becoming her own personal love note and she can't help herself, lets her scrape against him. Murmuring into him, pushing her hips closer, just needing this. Something close to normal for just a little while.

"Shower." She leans back just enough to seek his mouth, pushing the word inside with the tip of her tongue.

"_Kate,_ " He isn't protesting, she can taste his desperation just as sure as she can feel her own. Knows when his hands slip down to drag up the hem of her shirt that he'll be the one scrubbing her back.

He helps her undress, dragging each piece down with pressing touch and wandering fingers. She didn't start the water, but she doesn't really recall him doing it, just knows that it's perfect when she steps in and it rains down over her skin. Hot and wonderful. Rinsing away the grime, the water turning murky with hints of pink.

She normally doesn't care for generic motel soap but in this case, she's grateful. She didn't even think to unpack hers. Hadn't really imagined them getting this far if she's being completely honest with herself. But with Castle sliding in behind her, turning her to pull her in for another kiss, she thinks that maybe if they can pull this off, they'll be okay.

He backs her into the wall, his eyes dark and his hands massaging her hips. She loves him like this, the power he brings as he crowds her, the way the water runs in rivers through his hair, down his face and her legs lift with his help, his palms settling over her ass. Anchoring her to him.

No whispers between them, no soft coaxing touch, just the thrust of his hips and she's gasping against his shoulder. Feeling something real for the first time since she woke up next to a dead man. Her defenses drop, his too and mouths meet, tongues twining as he strokes inside.

Its too much, too fast, too soon and the rawness she feels from the night spent abandoning their lives has her gripping his shoulders, nails digging in when his lips attach to her neck. She chokes on a sob, tries to stop the tears from joining and fails as despair and arousal flood her.

She barely hears the muffled whimper against her collarbone but she feels it in his shoulders, the shake of them as his thrusts become sloppy. No finesse. She doesn't have any either, rocking into him just to feel something. To feel him. To be connected and not as terrified for just a few minutes. But it takes the tremble beneath her fingers, the sharp rough jerk of his hips for her to realize...he's crying, trying to hide it.

She covers his ears with her palms, drags his face up to hers and presses her nose against his. Mouth open and panting as she lets the swirl in her abdomen dominate, the liquid heat between her thighs burning into a blaze that she craves.

She comes with the sound of her name on his lips, his breath mingling with hers. Back arching, and teeth biting at his chin. The clench of her body around his as he follows, spilling into her and pressing heavily against her front.

They still don't say anything. Nothing more than 'turn around' or 'let me wash your hair' as they finish showering. Him taking almost ten minutes just to lather her locks and rinse them clean. Washing twice just to be sure. And her heart aches, eyes blurring again but she refuses to cry. She already did that. It's time to buck up and deal. These are the cards they've been dealt and they need to plan.

They dry quickly, efficiently. They don't bump into each other or even stumble in the small space and he leaves her to her routine, assuming she wants some time to herself. But she doesn't.

And she lets him know that when she crawls into bed next to him, fully clothed in one of his shirts and soft cotton pajamas. Seeking him immediately, her head resting on his shoulder and her arm draping over his waist. Her hair still damp and soaking through his shirt.

"We should talk." Her voice is low but firm and she can feel his muscles relaxing.

"Okay."

"I don't remember anything but the bullets are going to match my gun. I know they will." She didn't plan to just blurt it out but apparently her mouth is incapable of sugar coating and easing into it.

"We'll figure this out."

"There's no guarantee that we'll ever -"

"Kate, we've been in tough situations before and we always find a way out. You have to trust that or we might as well turn ourselves in." She quiets against him, staring at the ceiling and letting her hand rub over his ribs. She nods, knows he's right.

"We need to take things one at a time. Distance first, that's my main concern for now. We need to find somewhere safe. Appearance, we need to alter ourselves, change." His hand strokes through the wet strands of her hair as if he already knows she intends to chop most of it off and she tries to ease his mind by pressing her toes against shin, stroking her foot up his leg until her thigh falls over his.

"What about proving you didn't kill Bracken?"

"I have my mom's case file, all the files connected...even Montgomery's. But it's all we have. We're going to have to find sources, ways to get information. We'll need a couple phones."

"Will the boys -"

"I'm not dragging them into this mess. They're good cops, Castle and if someone finds out, they'll lose their jobs and worse." She feels him start to protest, cuts him off before he can by raising up to press her lips to his. A short quick kiss to shut him up. "They're family, like your mother and my father. Alexis. They've already stuck their necks out far enough where Bracken is concerned. No more. I want it over."

"Okay." And with that one word, she already knows he's going to call them as soon as possible.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I have three cats. But no Castle.**

**A/N: Since a certain someone let me open my Christmas present early, she gets this chapter in return. ;) Hope everyone is enjoying this so far. The next couple chapters delve more into the 'why' and what actually happened.**

She's panicking. Pushing her food around her plate and eying the television hanging in the corner of the diner. Her ears are deceiving her, hearing her name when it isn't being said, seeing glimpses of patrol cars.

Hearing things like the sirens that don't actually exist as she peeks out the window and jumping skittishly when Castle forms a solid barrier at her side. She feels caged and nervous. Something coils in her abdomen, the fear and reality settle in to churn wickedly. She feels sick to her stomach and she has a hand pushing at his chest the moment he tries to wrap an arm around her waist, an apology in her eyes.

He squeezes her hip, fingers pressing and she realizes she must have a bruise because it's not as comforting as it should be and it brings on a dull ache that has her threading her fingers through his, guiding his hand up just a little.

He watches her and rubs his thumb over the spot, silently asking if she's okay, if they're okay and honestly, she doesn't know how to answer either question. How will anything be okay ever again?

"You're hurt?" And now he's resorted to not so silently asking. Hands softening and barely touching, fingers moving to brush over her cheek, tilt her head back and she's met with an intensity and worry in his blue eyes that has the potential to knock her over.

"I didn't even notice." It's the truth. She's been too busy hatching escape plans and trying to convince herself that this isn't just some nightmare, that she won't wake up back in the loft with Castle snoring softly beside her. "Just my head and some aches. Nothing much."

"Kate,"

"We don't have time. We need to go." He looks ready to protest, mouth already opening and forehead scrunching but he stops himself.

He nods once as if he's giving in but just for now and she stretches up, kisses him soft and quick to reassure him that she's physically okay but he holds on, anchoring her to him by sliding his hand into her hair, wrapping his fingers around the back of her neck as he pushes his lips against hers. She lets him have the moment despite the audience, knowing he needs the comfort of it but sure that she's about to slide right off the bar stool and into his lap.

She's still waiting for it, for his breakdown, for the panic and reality to hit him. It's coming. She knows it is. He looks tired, dark rings under his eyes and there's a furrow in his brow that she's starting to think will become permanent. It's only a matter of time. And something tells her that the longer he has to go without talking to his mother and daughter, the closer he gets to that breaking point.

He leaves enough cash to cover their order, extra for a very nice tip and just as she's standing, her feet firmly on the ground, the wind gets knocked out of her. Mid exchange of pleasantries with a waitress and her tongue sticks to the roof of her mouth, her heart racing as she sees herself on the small dusty TV.

This time her ears aren't deceiving her.

"Castle, we gotta go." She's tugging his arm, cursing his need to be so polite to their waitress but then he must catch on, must hear it too. He tenses, every muscle in his body going taut.

It starts with an 'oh god' from the woman that served them. Melody. Her eyes flashing, darting between them and the screen as Kate turns for the door.

Run. They have to leave. Now.

She pulls him along, jogging as soon as they're out. Both of them thankful they parked near the door. Stupid and brilliant on his part. She shoves him in the passenger side as if he's a reluctant child, chastising with her touch and apologetic by the time she makes it around to her seat.

Her heart is pounding, reverberating through her chest and all the way down to her toes as she fishes through the keys. Her hands shaking, fumbling as she jams the right one in the ignition and turns it. She spares a glance at her partner, his skin pale and his eyes full of fear and she wants to reach over, reassure him but there's no time.

Instead, she gets them out of there, away from the diner and the room they spent the night in. Silently hoping no one called the cops, that there won't be road blocks before they can reach a safe enough distance.

She's so lost in her own head that she startles when he touches her thigh, relaxing immediately with the sound of his voice.

"Do you think she -"

"Yeah. Or someone else that saw us." Gripping the steering wheel tighter, she keeps her eyes on the road and sucks her lip between her teeth for a thought. "We can't put it off any longer, we need a different vehicle. We're lucky we've made it this far."

"Grand Theft Auto?" What should have been a playful jest, came out as something more fearful and reluctant but she knows he's trying so her lips tilt just a fraction, her heart calming a little.

"If we make it somewhere safe for the night,"

"When."

"I want you to call Alexis. Let her know that you're okay."

* * *

One commandeered station wagon and several hundred miles later, they're somewhat settled in a decent motel. The last room they'll probably be able to get with practically no fuss. She's tired and wide awake all at the same time. Her body exhausted and her mind alert.

She's been sitting on the edge of the mattress for at least ten minutes, staring at the phone and weighing the ramifications but she wants this, needs to do this for him. It takes her another six and him stepping out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel for her to grab the receiver from the cradle and thrust it towards him.

"Call Alexis. Be quick. The FBI is definitely involved and they'll be monitoring every call to our families, as soon as they realize it's -"

"They'll trace it. I know."

"Call." He hesitates before he takes the phone and as soon as he sits next to her to dial, she's moving away in an attempt to give him a little bit of privacy. She can't really go too far.

She can hear his heart shattering with the first words out of his mouth. 'Hey Pumpkin' never sounding so broken and she wishes he could be back with his daughter, that he could hug her but she's also selfish. Wants him here. She pretends not to notice the tears in his eyes, the tightness in his words as he reassures the worried girl that they're both okay.

And when she hears his rushed 'Don't worry about it, we'll be fine' she knows Alexis asked where they are. And this time, it's her heart that shatters when he rushes through an 'I love you' filled goodbye and hangs up on his daughter despite her trying to keep him on the line.

Kate doesn't know how to make this better, how to handle it so she says the one thing she knows will set him off. But she can't stop herself, can't bare the look on his face as he stares at the phone.

"You shouldn't have come."

"What?"

"I should've made you stay in New York. This is my mess, not yours." She watches as his resolve snaps, the last shred of control obliterated.

"You think I would leave you out here, alone?"

"Castle, it's not about that. We don't even know what's going on, we're living in a bubble out here. No idea how close we are to being caught or why we're even running." She knows she's in for a battle when he stands, advancing on her. Not backing down. He always pushes. Until one of them retreats but this is different. They're engaged. It's no longer backhanded comments about 'hiding in relationships' or forced out 'I love yous'.

"Doesn't matter. I know you didn't kill anyone, unless you had a good reason and I'm not about to go back and let them hang us both."

"Maybe you could. Go back. I bet you could swing a believable story of how I'm a cop in over my head, something I shouldn't be involved in, desperate and I forced you -"

"No." There's anger in his eyes, etching into the lines of his face. She would swear some of those lines are new, stress induced by their situation and she hates the pang of guilt that resonates in her chest.

The hard ache of it has her turning to stare at the wall. She doesn't want to fight. Can't even look at him when he's mad at her. _With_ her.

She flinches when he touches her cheek, steps back when he tries to snap the button on her jeans. Different circumstances, she would already have her mouth fused to his, tongue pushing in and legs wrapping around his waist. But she's not in the mood and she tells him 'no' with a shake of her head.

"Dammit Kate, would you just stop? Stop doing this and let me carry some of the weight." His gaze is sincere when she meets it, lust free. She doesn't understand. The heat of his hands on her hips confuses her as he gently pushes her jeans down.

"Castle, I-"

"Let me take care of you. For a little while." How could she ever deny him that when he's pushing aside his hatred for their situation, his anger at her just to slowly peel her shirt from her body as she steps out of her pants, how? She can't. And she doesn't.

She lets him caress, gives him that much. And it helps her too. Glues some of the shattered pieces back together as his fingers stroke over her ribs, his nose bumping into hers.

"I'm not leaving you here. So just get that thought out of your head."

She still has no clue what he's planning when her bra meets the floor. Doesn't know why her heart is calm in her chest when he kisses her softly. Silken lips moving against her own. Brief and warm. Heating the coldest recesses of her thoughts. And then he's pulling her to the bed, laying her down, climbing in next to her.

She huddles close, mind still too alert to melt into him but he pulls her closer regardless of the stiffness in her muscles, the rigidness of her spine.

"I'll keep watch. You should sleep, you're kinda grumpy and spouting nonsense." And just when she has no hope left, he gives her some of his. Gives her a moment to smile about.

"This is sweet, Castle but I don't think I can." Not when they'd come so close to being busted. She'll never sleep again.

Less than thirty minutes of his fingers running through her hair, enjoying the last few hours of the long length and she's out cold. Breathing hard and deep against his shoulder as he strokes a hand over her back.

* * *

Her skin is clammy, hot and cold at the same time, his hands on her cheeks as he shushes her, tells her they're both okay and she can barely see clearly. The fog of sleep and another world clouding her thoughts, making everything fuzzy. Her heart is slamming in her chest, her eyes wild as he pushes her hair back out of her face, tries to calm her once again and it takes a few seconds of his voice, the soothing words he's spilling before she really looks, really sees him.

"I fell asleep." It's raw and cracked, heavy emotion straining such a simple statement and when he just watches her, concern in his eyes, she lets out a deep breath and tugs the sheet tighter around herself. A barrier to the cold that threatens. "Time is it?"

"Early. I was about to wake you." It's a lie and they both know it but she lets it slide, understanding that he's worried. She is too. "Bad dream, I take it?"

She lets out a scoff, hand reaching up and holding his in place against her cheek, fingers slipping between his as she leans forward to rest against his shoulder. Her voice is nothing more than a whisper in the early hours of the evening when she tells him:

"We're living one."

"All nightmares end. They aren't forever."

"Maybe you should take some of your own advice." She keeps her tone soft despite the annoyance bubbled in her chest. She's tired of him being the never-ending parade of light, the hope. She wants him to stop pretending. "Let _me_ take care of _you_. It's barely been a few days. We aren't somewhere safe, we don't have any way for you to consistently keep in contact with your family and I know you're terrified, so just _stop_ saying everything will be okay."

"Beckett, if I stop then I stop believing it and I _have _to believe that we can do this because the alternative...I have to see Alexis again."

She wants to tell him that he will but she can't. She can't even find the words, so she presses closer, sliding into his lap in the middle of the uncomfortable bed.

"Okay." Acceptance is what she can offer. And honesty, she gives him everything she can with a soft but firm voice. "I remember heading to the loft, I was thinking about food and you. It seems silly that the last thing I remember is wondering if I could persuade you to move dinner into the bedroom."

His hand soothes down her spine as she pulls back to see his face, illuminated by the single lamp in the corner of the room.

"Wouldn't have taken much_ persuading_." He offers a smirk and she finds herself smiling at him, a brief flash of her teeth before she returns to the story.

"Something made me turn around. I could feel someone behind me but then it goes dark, fuzzy. I don't remember anything after that. Not until I was waking up." She shivers against him, a little cold and still reliving the dream that woke her. "I remember everything from those first confused moments, the pain in my head. I couldn't see straight."

"Kate,"

"And I tried to push myself up, that's when I realized there was blood and I thought - I knew I'd been on my way home and I thought it was yours." He tenses at her words, she can feel it. "Nothing made sense. It still doesn't."

"Someone's framing you, that much is obvious."

"It has to be someone that knows he put the hit out on my mom. Without that, I'm just a random cop so whoever did this, knows Bracken's dirty secrets and knows I had a reason to want him dead."


End file.
